Going off to college...
It seems like only yesterday when I was prepping for my first move-in day. True, it was only four years ago, but it felt much more recent as I was reading "Soon-to-be college freshman and their parents ponder the big leap" by Sandi Kahn Shelton in today's New Haven Register.
I remember battling with the same thoughts that the students interviewed mentioned - impending freedom, fear of leaving home, focusing on ways to ease the transition, etc. I never felt held back while living at home, but I did experience guilt when my mother would stay up late waiting for me to return home after a night out. Hanging out at school was more guilt-free because I knew that mom was sleeping rather than waiting for me to make my way home.
The hardest part for me when I went away to school was not that I was moving to a new place into a new room surrounded by new people. Yes, that part was thoroughly frightening but I was more concerned with the people I was leaving behind. In addition to my family, with whom I am very close, I was also leaving behind many friends that I had made in the first 18 years of my life.
Most of my friends from high school stayed in NYC, commuting from home and sticking around the old neighborhoods. A few of us ventured out to dorm living, and it was rough. We, the resident students, were the minority and our commuting friends could not understand some of the issues we faced while away. They could still meet up and hang out, while we needed to rely on phone calls, instant messaging and the occasional visit back home to stay in the loop. It was tough, and there were times when I really thought I was losing touch with those friendships.
To anyone leaving for school in the next few weeks, I want to provide some comfort. Four years later, I decided to stay in CT and not return to where my old friends remain. We managed to stay in touch because we all learned that if you truly care about people you will find a way to make it happen. They supported my decision to stay here, and I support their choices in NY.
I think that is is very important for students to live away from home, at least for a little while. The sense of independence and personal responsibility that I developed could never have come from being a room away from my parents. It's an essential part of growing up, and it gave me the courage to step out on my own and start a new life.
As long as you keep people in your thoughts and in your heart, home is never farther away than phone call. That's how I've made it this far, and how I get through the occasional (and inevitable) lonely days. It'll all work out, I promise.
I remember battling with the same thoughts that the students interviewed mentioned - impending freedom, fear of leaving home, focusing on ways to ease the transition, etc. I never felt held back while living at home, but I did experience guilt when my mother would stay up late waiting for me to return home after a night out. Hanging out at school was more guilt-free because I knew that mom was sleeping rather than waiting for me to make my way home.
The hardest part for me when I went away to school was not that I was moving to a new place into a new room surrounded by new people. Yes, that part was thoroughly frightening but I was more concerned with the people I was leaving behind. In addition to my family, with whom I am very close, I was also leaving behind many friends that I had made in the first 18 years of my life.
Most of my friends from high school stayed in NYC, commuting from home and sticking around the old neighborhoods. A few of us ventured out to dorm living, and it was rough. We, the resident students, were the minority and our commuting friends could not understand some of the issues we faced while away. They could still meet up and hang out, while we needed to rely on phone calls, instant messaging and the occasional visit back home to stay in the loop. It was tough, and there were times when I really thought I was losing touch with those friendships.
To anyone leaving for school in the next few weeks, I want to provide some comfort. Four years later, I decided to stay in CT and not return to where my old friends remain. We managed to stay in touch because we all learned that if you truly care about people you will find a way to make it happen. They supported my decision to stay here, and I support their choices in NY.
I think that is is very important for students to live away from home, at least for a little while. The sense of independence and personal responsibility that I developed could never have come from being a room away from my parents. It's an essential part of growing up, and it gave me the courage to step out on my own and start a new life.
As long as you keep people in your thoughts and in your heart, home is never farther away than phone call. That's how I've made it this far, and how I get through the occasional (and inevitable) lonely days. It'll all work out, I promise.
posted by Nancy Hall at 11:49 AM
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